Friday, June 18, 2004
senorita, i feel for you
fashion tips for looking or feeling skinnier than you really are, from a non-fashionista (no relation to fetishforfashion.blogspot.com):
1) big butt?
- the word is 'hipsters'. be it pants, jeans, or skirts. (bermudas and culottes are no-nos. avoid at all cost.)
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who is a "butt" person. ie, one who appreciates the fine art of ample derrieres. this will allow you freedom in booty-flaunting.
2) bumpy tummy?
- do NOT tuck shirt in.
- ensure pants or skirts do not have bulky buttons or zips on the front. flat-fronted pants and skirts preferable.
- knickers/thongs should sufficiently cover and support bumpy tummy area.
- when sitting, keep in upright position. slouching is bad and tummy folds are unflattering.
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who has a bumpier tummy than you. walking beside him will make you feel instantly skinnier.
3) mosquito bites for boobs?
- padded bras, one of the greatest modern invention for womenkind. t-shirt bras highly recommended. (note: bust curve necessary to offset big butt and create an illusion of smaller waistline.)
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who is not a "boob" person. ie, is a "butt" person.
4) wide hips?
- see (1).
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who desires many offsprings, so child-bearing hips will be fully justified.
5) flabby arms?
- avoid sleeveless tops, halter tops, spaghetti-straps, tube-tops, togas, etc. unless worn in accompaniment with cardigan or see-through shirt.
- invest only in cap-sleeves, short-sleeves, three-quarter-sleeves, long-sleeves.
- alternatively, borrow boyfriend/husband/lover's shirts. for that rugged "i have a boyfriend/husband/lover and i'm so skinny and cute that i can fit into his shirt" look.
more fashion tips to looking or feeling skinnier than you really are? the non-fashionista is here to help.
*disclaimer: 100% success in looking or feeling deceivingly skinny not guaranteed.
# posted by izadnhana at 12:06 PM
--->
1) big butt?
- the word is 'hipsters'. be it pants, jeans, or skirts. (bermudas and culottes are no-nos. avoid at all cost.)
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who is a "butt" person. ie, one who appreciates the fine art of ample derrieres. this will allow you freedom in booty-flaunting.
2) bumpy tummy?
- do NOT tuck shirt in.
- ensure pants or skirts do not have bulky buttons or zips on the front. flat-fronted pants and skirts preferable.
- knickers/thongs should sufficiently cover and support bumpy tummy area.
- when sitting, keep in upright position. slouching is bad and tummy folds are unflattering.
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who has a bumpier tummy than you. walking beside him will make you feel instantly skinnier.
3) mosquito bites for boobs?
- padded bras, one of the greatest modern invention for womenkind. t-shirt bras highly recommended. (note: bust curve necessary to offset big butt and create an illusion of smaller waistline.)
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who is not a "boob" person. ie, is a "butt" person.
4) wide hips?
- see (1).
- alternatively, find a boyfriend/husband/lover who desires many offsprings, so child-bearing hips will be fully justified.
5) flabby arms?
- avoid sleeveless tops, halter tops, spaghetti-straps, tube-tops, togas, etc. unless worn in accompaniment with cardigan or see-through shirt.
- invest only in cap-sleeves, short-sleeves, three-quarter-sleeves, long-sleeves.
- alternatively, borrow boyfriend/husband/lover's shirts. for that rugged "i have a boyfriend/husband/lover and i'm so skinny and cute that i can fit into his shirt" look.
more fashion tips to looking or feeling skinnier than you really are? the non-fashionista is here to help.
*disclaimer: 100% success in looking or feeling deceivingly skinny not guaranteed.
# posted by izadnhana at 12:06 PM
